THE SHRUBRAG

My Manbag

If you were a part of the generation which watched Thursday comedy on NBC, you are familiar with Friends. If you were a loyal watcher, then you remember the episode in which Joey starts using a handbag to look more sophisticated. Everyone makes fun of him for carrying a purse, and to counteract it, he calls it a "Man Bag".

To consider Joey from Friends as a pioneer of anything is pure silliness, but in the case of the Man Bag, I think we have to make an exception. The ability of Joey to bring a man's right to carry a purse into the public spotlight was only a small part of a revolution. Before long, certainly as the as the new century started, the lines between the roles of men and women began to blur. I would say it is completely common today that a man is proactive in sharing housekeeping chores with his wife. You are just as likely to see a man taking his kid with him to the supermarket as you are a woman doing the same. This revolution against the pre-concieved notions of the role of the sexes and baby boomer customs, coupled with the explosion of hand-held devices birthed by the digital age, necessitated men to begin using purses to carry all of their toys. And in order to deflect any belittling of the oft-illogical male ego, we changed the "purse" name. Hence, the Man Bag was born!

Over the years, I have collected many things which I like to have with me at all times. Part of it is conceding to that male part of me which tends to get sentimentally attached to useless objects, part of it is living by my backpacker mentality of being prepared for anything, and part of it comes out of that little boy in every man who will always love playing with toys, i.e. gadgets and tools.

So here I present to you my man bag. And to defend my "right" to a man bag, I am listing its contents here as proof of a fully intact manhood. 

- A Nintendo DS modified to play tons of games on one cartridge as well as hosting a media player for playing music. An excellent source of entertainment at any time when boredom ensues

- A copy of the Watchmen graphic novel. I never tire of reading it, for times when I don't feel like firing up the DS.

- A notebook, for writing ideas and things-to-do list. Since having 2 kids and finishing my Master's, my memory is not so....uh, whatever that word is.

-Various memory keys....I think its time to admit I have a problem. One I use for a digital picture frame at work, another one carries portable applications, and the others are for back up.

-A charger for the DS and my phone.

-A thesaurus to help me with the creation of interesting posts.

-An old hacky sack I used in college and keep around for a good luck charm. I certainly don't hacky sack anymore...besides, I was never that good in the first place.

-A flashlight....you never know when you need one.

-A Gerber multitool, a Swiss Army knife, and nail clippers. Again, you never know what you will need them for. I hate having hangnails and I insist on being able to excise them immediately.

-Checkbooks and pens, mostly for emergency.

There you have it, a small and probably boring glimpse into my daily life. If any of you carry a Man Bag, please tell us what you carry in it day to day.

That's My Girl!

I was on vacation this last week at the cabin in Wisconsin. I'm not going to relate my entire trip to you all but I did want to mention a few things that made me really proud of Elora.

We spent our first night in the house of one of Larisa's relatives, her Aunt Lily. I was walking into the kitchen in the morning to catch the end of a conversation Lily was having with Ellie. It went something like this:

Lily: "Are you going to school next year?"

Elora: "Yes."

Lily: "Will you wear a backpack?"

Elora: "No."

Lily: "Why not?"

Elora: "I don't wear backpacks for school, I wear them for hiking."

I never told her anything like that, she said that completely with her own free will. Made Poppa proud.

 Next, we are at a zoo and walk into an area with cages full of various rodents, guinea pigs, ground hogs, ferrets etc. There was a zoo attendant there who announced that she could let anyone pet any of the animals if requested. So does Ellie first ask for the chinchilla or ground hog? No, with no fear at all, she immediately asks to pet the skunk first. Yes, there was a skunk (de-smellified of course). This was definitely an awesome parenting moment.

Not to mention how excited she was about fishing. She would get upset if she didn't get to help someone release a bass. She was also enthralled by the leeches we used for bait and at one point announced herself as Queen of the Leeches and would bestow baity goodness upon anyone requesting it.

Another Week Off...what gives?

The Fates smile upon me. Well, in their twisted sort of way. 

I get yet another week of responsibility and interruption-free time to myself. Just me and the dog and 3 cats in the house....well, 5 cats if you count Pippin as another 2. If you are a parent, you probably think a week alone sounds like some kind of kick ass gift of the Gods. While it is nice to have time to myself where I can lie on the couch, watch TV and get some actual, for-real, honest-to-goodness mental and physical rest, being alone after being a parent for close to 5 years is quite disconcerting. For the past 20 minutes, I have been desperately trying to talk anyone through Facebook, Skype, or Google Chat. Basically, its really weird to have the house, which is typically full of young daughters either keeping me awake in the wee hours of the morning or jumping onto my stomach, empty other than myself and Ripley the shaggy, skittish dog.  This time around, Larisa took the kids a week early to the Wisconsin cabin for more family functions, so basically the same reason as before.

So the question is put forth...what to do with my time now? As always, there are a multitude of mini tasks that need to be done that are impossible to complete with kids around. I was thinking, again, about painting the house, but this time, it is not rain preventing me, it was heat, and as we all know, heat plus humidity makes me insane. So I was forced to keep my activites inside, which certainly has its own set of neglected issues.

First off was cleaning the house. I find I am more mentally at ease when lounging in a obstacle-free area. I also did tons of laundry. And cleaned the tub. That was no small task....months of grime build-up had to be scoured off. Elora's room needed a thorough tidying up as well. Pretty sad eh? I get all this time to myself and I spend it on the most boring activities known to man.

So of course I am not going to waste all of my free time on medioacre house chores. I invested some time into little projects that I have wanted to do for myself, such as organizing my healthy photo collection, photoshopping some of those pictures (removing red-eye or improving the color etc), getting my vast array of home improvement tools in order, painting a picture for my mother-in-law, learning how to cut glass for picture frames, and working on my geek collectibles, namely a figure of Morpheus from the Sandman comic books which had to be leveled in order to stand straight and making a picture frame from scratch for a very cool portrait. Add some good wine and play some new tunes on your modified Nintendo DS, and you basically have as much fun as I can have when alone. Its common for geeks such as myself to have a small collection of nerdy memorabilia. Ever seen 40-Year-Old Virgin? Remember how he has tons of figures still in the package? Same thing here, I am just not as gung-ho about it. As I have refined my sci-fi and fantasy interests over the past few years, I have collected items which reflect those passions. To finish off this post, I shopped a picture with my shrine to geekdom and made a identifying list below:

1 - A figure of Gromit of Wallace and Gromit fame from the movie Curse of the Were-Rabbit, a brilliant movie I love watching with Ellie

2 - Morpheus of the Sandman comics, an epic graphic novel created by Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite writers and movie makers.

3 - The aforementioned portrait, of Hunter S. Thompson, one of my heros.

4 - A picture of Roxy and a flower bed in the shape of a mushroom I made in Hummelstown a long time ago with a friend, Bear.

5 - A small ceramic car I made ages ago in Scotland.

6 - Just to the right of the arrow is a little wooden statue of a woodpecker I got on my travels with my brother in Alburquerque NM.

7 - A small figure of Chewbacca holding C-3PO in pieces on his back.

8 - I call this guy Leet Monkey, my first computer case resident. He was mistakenly stolen by Ellie when she was only 2 from a bookstore. He kept her busy while I waited in a huge line.

9 - Lego and Star Wars, 2 of my favorite things. In this case, its Darth Vader and his TIE fighter.

10 - One of my favorite pics of me and 3 of my friends (Mike, Rob, and Ace) around a campfire somewhere on the AT

Ohh yeaaa*, THAT's why I don't go to theaters anymore.

*spoken with an inflection of recollection

Larisa and I were given some kid-free time this weekend to go see the new Harry Potter flick. The movie itself was the best Potter movie yet. The campy direction of the first movies is completely ignored in this latest version with darker overtones of revenge and violence. I did not read the books so I do not know what happens in the end, but the day after seeing the Half-Blood Prince, I ordered Deathly Hallows because it turns out Snape plays a completely mystifying and important role which is left unexplained at the end of the movie. I am so eager to find out whether Snape is bad or good (the way they leave it in Half-Blood Prince is brilliant, evoking conversation to which side he is aligned and make you thirst for more) that I can't wait for the last movie, I have to read the book. Several mysteries which were alluded to in previous movies are explained as well, which is satisfying for me, especially after going through my addiction and eventual boycott of the show LOST after being lead down dozens of nutty plot lines and never getting explanations for them.

Thank goodness the movie was captivating because I would have had a conniption fit otherwise. I can't remember the last time Larisa and I went to a movie theater by ourselves. We went to see WALL-E with Ellie last year. While the theater was full of people making noise and commotion, it was to be expected...they were mostly kids Ellie's age. For this most recent movie-going experience, there was no excuse for the interruptions and spectacles which dragged us out of the escape into the drama at Hogwarts.

First off, there was a guy right in front of us who would laugh at the dumbest things. If you were to see the movie, you would be surprised at how much humor they could fit into such a dark plot. There were genuinely funny scenes at which I found myself laughing out loud. But this guy would laugh when someone whipped out a wand. This was only a warm-up for the rest of the sideshow amusements.

Next, just 2 seats to my left was someone who basically texted throughout the entire movie. This may seem tame since there was absolutely no noise coming from their phone, which was one the newer phones designed for texting. But every time this person opened the phone to commit this heinous act, the brightness of the huge screen was an unavoidable sight in my peripheral vision. It was complete distracting. I had to hold my hand up to block the light so I could focus on the movie.I kept having visions of George Costanza when he decided to do everything opposite to his instinct and during a date at a movie, he told the loud patrons behind him to shut up. I, on the other hand, followed my instinct and let the abuse of theater etiquette continue.

But the pièce de résistance of the entire night was a married couple who brought in their 4 kids, one of whom was probably 2 years old. This, by far, was the winner of most distracting of the night. Those of us with kids know that unless the movie is something that will captivate that 2 year old for the entire time, then the kid will inevitably lose his attention and want to do something else. If that movie does not peak his interest, he will not sit still and be quiet in a seat for 2.5 hours unless he is heavily drugged. Just forget about the fact that this movie, although semi-geared to kids in their early teens, was not appropriate for a 2 year old. So every 20 minutes or so, the kid would start to cry because I think the parents were telling him to sit still and be quiet or he was losing interest in the movie, the themes of which would have been WAY over any 2 year old's head. And the father had the gall to get mad at the kid at one point! Can you believe that?! How can you take a kid that young to a long movie and not expect them to cause trouble? Not only is it rude to the rest of the theater but it is also atrocious treatment towards a kid to make them sit there and watch something they have no interest in seeing and also could have possibly caused some kind of trauma (there were some genuinely scary parts). Its selfish to a point of ignorance. Just wait for the frigging DVD to come out. I mean, what kind of sick glutton for punishment would bring their toddler to a scary and long movie? It goes beyond desperation to see Harry Potter and offends reason to the highest degree.

I'm sure when you read the title, you thought it was going to be another synopsis of the small sacrifices parents make for their kids. No, even if I was unlucky enough to not have Elora or Lyla in my life, I would still find the idea of going to the movie theater alone an abhorrent idea. This most recent visit, possibly our last, only reinforced that notion.

Interruption - The Bane of Parenthood

As you may have gleaned from the satisfaction I gained from the epic meal previously described, I have taken for granted the small moments of silence which were devoid of responsibility prior to parenthood. Over the years, I have found there is a price to pay for creating a human being who will adore you unconditionally and without judgment. The name of that cost is normal adult conversation.

One of the most vital aspects of a spousal relationship is communication. And it is that core component of a marriage which meets its toughest challenge of all time, that being a 4 year old who demands constant attention. When I say demands constant attention, I don't mean you have to watch her 24-7 while she colors with her Crayolas. I mean she literally stays on your tail like a well paid private eye, asking questions and demanding answers. Now Elora is a very extroverted kid...she will make friends with anyone, and an effect of that is her constant need for personal interaction and constant feedback. So perhaps I can't generalize so much. She feeds on social interaction and I'm sure not all kids are like that, yet I feel I'm not far off the mark for most of them.

How many times, as a parent, have you had to tell your kids to wait a minute before they regale you with whatever brilliant toddler musings they insist on telling you immediately? All you want to do is have an important exchange with your significant other. And forget about interesting conversation...any time you get for talking to an adult has to be spent on logistical matters such as picking up kids from school or how is dinner going to be made. Boooooring!

I cannot think of a life experience which is more eye-opening than a parent. I can now see the sacrifices my own parents must have made when I was Elora's age and also why I got yelled at sometimes. While I have made the argument in the past that being a parent is preferable for mental health over not having children, I still occasionally pine for my days as a relatively responsibility-free consenting adult. I could sleep to 10 in the morning without being disturbed to make breakfast for a hungry little girl at 6, or play games on my computer for a few hours in the afternoon without requests to play Polly Pocket games instead, or watch a couple of Simpsons episodes after dinner instead of watching my daughter take a bath. Being a parent means your entire day is interrupted. It is a mind-boggling commitment of energy. Just getting an hour free is such a luxury now. I will never take time for granted again.

But by far, the thing I miss most is chatting with my wife about Star Trek or camping or music or how to make our eggs on Saturday morning. Trying to do so usually invokes several "Excuse me"s from Elora, who now knows that is the polite way to interrupt, but still does not stop her from technically doing so.

On the brighter side, there is never a dull moment in our house....nor quiet ones.

Welcome to Bizarro World: A Week By Myself

In a bizarre twist of fate, I am by myself in my own house, for 7 days. Right now, at the very moment this is being written, I am sitting, QUIETLY, sipping on chilly 15 year old single malt, watching Die Hard 2, WITHOUT INTERRUPTION, and finally writing again. After spending the past 5 years raising children, renovating houses, going to night school, trying to stay sane, and having absolutely NO time to myself, you can understand why I am now living on Bizarro world.

How could this alien event happen you might ask? Its quite simple: have no vacation time after using it to help your wife ease into the caring of a newborn girl, have a wife with a family so big that there are cousins galore, and then have those cousins get married (not to each other). That was my ticket to this strange place where I am reconciled with free time, that thing which only exists as a distant memory in the minds of neophyte parents.

To celebrate, I bought myself a nice porterhouse, a bottle of Pinot, and some deluxe Hagen Daas caramel ice cream for desert with a 15 year old scotch aperitif and a cheap cigar for late night smoking. I made myself a candlelight meal, which in any other circumstances would be just plain sad, popped in the latest DVD of Dexter, and sat in quiet repose while I savored each bite by taking the time to properly chew and taste what I was eating. The entire experience was dream-like, as if I had entered an alternate reality or was the soul survivor of a nuclear holocaust. That's is not to say I did not enjoy it....I did, and thoroughly at that, but it was a surreal enjoyment.

This also marks that point in Lyla's life where she is markedly easier to care, especially for me. For a while there, she was uncalmable when I was taking care of her. This happened more often that you would think because 2 days out of the week, I would come home to relieve the babysitter and have Lyla to myself for about 2 hours, which also happened to be her most irritable hours of the day. It was extremely frustrating to be unable to soothe her. My only alternative was giving her an hour long bath, which got boring real fast. But just this past month, at 6 months old now, we have turned past the corner where reliable naps times and a happier demeanor are on the horizon.

 As Lyla gets easier to care for and I find myself with a smaller and smaller "Things to Do" list, I can finally see the smog clearing and less stressful times ahead. I can enjoy my free time with my family instead of figuring out how to build a new room on the house or writing a paper on the inner-workings of the human body. This week off has certainly given me time to muse over this new stage of my life.

The sad part of my week off was rain. I had planned to get one more thing off my incredible shrinking list, that being painting my house. When we moved in 3 years ago, I started painting the back wall. I eventually got that one wall done but never got to the rest. I even bought a new paint gun to help me with the job. But it rained, just about every day. I was certainly not too disappointed. I sat around mostly, either playing games on the computer or watching movies. By far the weirdest part of this demonstration of sloth was no interruption.

Of course, when Ellie and Lyla are teenagers, I will probably be wishing for those days to return when they wouldn't leave me alone. When young kids continually want to be by your side day in and day out, you take it for granted that they adore you to the N^th degree.

My 3 Greatest Hikes of All Time

#1 - North West Coast of San Francisco Peninsula: A few years ago, I traveled to my favorite city in the world, San Francisco, where a large portion of my immediate family live. I also left some close friends when I chose to come back to the East coast, all those years ago. Rob and Mae were some of those friends and on this occasion, a mutual friend was also visiting, Mike. Rob and Mae insisted we go on a hike with them one day, and who am I, hiker-lover extraordinaire, to refuse? I did not know where exactly where we were going, only that it was with in the city proper and I was told to bring some tough hiking boots. I believe the hike started in Seacliff, which is where the richest residents of SF live. Its the neighborhood where you can find the biggest and most beautiful houses, all with views of the Pacific and the GG Bridge. The path was pretty straightforward for a while, level and well-trodden dirt. But we soon descended onto the beach...which wasn't so much of a beach as it was a long strip of small boulders. In a matter of moments, we were no longer in the city, but on some alien landscape with sandy plant covered cliffs on the left and the ocean with views of Marin county and the Golden Gate on the right. Our trail...the path of least resistance down the middle, over large rocks. As far as elevation goes, this was easy. We were at sea level and there was very little gain, except for the occasional large pile of boulders with which to contend. The hard part was walking on big rocks the whole time....it was slow-going and toe-pinching. But the final reward was well worth it. We ended up at a small, flat cliff, maybe 20 feet above the water. A small inlet was cut into the cliff, forcing the surf into a small space. So every time a wave rolled in, the energy would be forced into the small space of the inlet, propelling water up the cliff face and then straight up. Here we have an example of the actual event being much more exciting than the description...to coin a generality, "you had to be there". Never would have I thought that such a simple sight would be so exciting. We stood at the edge of the cliff and looked down as the surf surged up. Every time the water exploded upwards, I would jump with joy like a little boy. Our little hiking band hung around, by ourselves I might add, on the cliff while we watched the water fly and eating lunch. Afterward, we headed back up to reality and finished the day with some light frisbee hurling in a local park. For the most unique hike of all time, this one is the winner.

#2 - Half Dome, Yosemite: Living in California was a pure treat for a mountain enthusiast such as myself. Some of the country's best parks are in Cali. Anyone who considers themselves an outdoor enthusiast must know of Ansel Adams, and anyone who know his work know that he was a big fan of Yosemite. Easily one of the most beautiful parks of the county, with huge majestic mountains rising right out of the valley floor. It is stunning.

As a fan of Ansel Adams, I knew about one of his favorite subjects, Half Dome. I had always wanted to see Tuolumne Meadows blooming in the Spring, but time never allowed for it. So I chose Half Dome as an alternative. My roommates at the time, Rob and Mae, were my companions for this trip. Being one of the most popular parks in America, Yosemite is full of people year round and the Half Dome hike is one of the most popular.

The length of the hike is about a 17 mile round trip, by far the furthest I have ever walked in one day. A hike like that takes time, 10-12 hours with an elevation gain of nearly 5000 feet. Not a hike to waggle a stick at. We had to start at the crack of dawn. The trail was fairly standard....well worn and mostly flattened dirt. The scenery on the way up was simply gorgeous, wild mountain flowers and vistas of the surrounding valley. At the half way point, we reached Nevada Falls, an impressive show of power which spews water over boulders 600 feet below. We ate lunch by the river which feeds it while the Sun shone on our shoulders and mountains towered over us. 

A few hours later, we reached the base of Half Dome, where we got our first view of the method of ascent: 2 parallel wires elevated by posts. It looked like a huge line of people going straight up and down these lines, a bottleneck of epic proportions.We made the slow climb at a ridiculous angle, clinging to the wires, and trying to stay out of the way of people coming down. At the top, we celebrated with our fellow climbers...one girl had even brought a big bottle of beer. The views of Yosemite were simply spectacular and we even got a few moments on the rock at the very top of the sheer side of Half Dome, where we got a very unnerving but thrilling look straight to the valley floor 5000 feet below. An epic hike with epic views of Yosemite. I highly recommend it.

#3 - Devil's Causeway, CO: The birthplace of my love of hiking and camping, Colorado. I was a complete outdoor noob, yet somehow I gained wind of this hike from friends of my sister with whom I was living at the time. When living in Colorado, the mountains call. You are powerless to their beckoning. The hike itself was fairly straight-forward...modest elevation gain, nice views of the green Colorado mountains, and grassy mountain meadows full of wild flowers.

The draw to this hike is the Causeway itself. Its a narrow bridge of rock between towering plateaus in the Flat Tops Wilderness. Narrowing to a width of three feet with hundreds of feet drops on both sides, hikers experience a thrill seldom felt by many. And it was indeed a thrill. I had never felt more alive, as I crossed the connection on top of the world, my heart racing with excitement. That day, I fell in love with mountain climbing. This is why this hike made my list. This was the first epic hike of my life. The seed of outdoor love which spawned a passion and led to untold numbers of excursions into forests and mountains all across the country, chasing that same thrill I felt in Colorado.

Your Second Kid = A Short Stint in Jail

Well, its been 2 months since we had Lyla and I have to say, its pretty amazing how a helpless tiny blob can completely destroy the nurtured social structure of the average family household.  In general, I abhor everyday mundane expectations, but right now, I am praying for some routine. Blessed blessed routine, lay your hands upon me! You know what we need to infiltrate, erode, and decimate terrorist networks? An army of newborn platoons. Working in teams of two, they can slowly wedge themselves between high value targets, completely interrupt all communication and interaction, thereby bringing about the downfall of terror cells.

For one thing, you can't do anything. Especially in the wintertime. Everyone is stuck inside while going stir-crazy and finding ways to satiate your vampiric offspring. One feeds on attention while the other feeds on breast milk. Anything you can do is entirely for the kids. While the house descends into the ninth circle of housekeeping Hell, where dirty clothes litter the barren landscape and tortured floors beg for vacuuming, you are busily inventing new ways to entertain the older kid. Just forget about doing anything for yourself, such as reading a magazine, playing a Nintendo DS game, watching Sin City on DVD, or writing a new post for your blog! You might get some time after the older one is in bed, but you will be mostly too tired and emotionally drained to enjoy it. Essentially, you are banished to the inside of your house, stuck with crazy roommates who could snap at any moment.

Larisa summed up the new situation nicely. I am now the single parent of Ellie and Larisa is the single parent of Lyla. We all live in the same house but reside in separate cells. Larisa spends most of her time on the couch while tending to Lyla's needs and abating any mind-piercing new born wailing. I spend most of my time entertaining Ellie as if I was some kind of trained monkey who enjoys being jumped on. Not to mention the time I have to reign in her new annoying behaviors which have manifested in response to the new addition, such as rebelling against our simple requests and being loud...too loud.

The thing I miss the most is interacting with Larisa. We can barely hold a simple conversation together, let alone not being able to get in a kiss or hug every now and again. Its like Larisa and I were partners in crime and we had to be separated into different cell blocks so as to confound any suspicious activities. If we had enough energy at the end of the day, we would plan an escape, but the remaining prison population of 1 dog, 3 cats and the dust mites would make poor overseers of the kids. 

 For now, we are digging in and hoping we can survive to Spring, when we will be resupplied with fresh air and warmer temps. By that point, our parole officer, Mother Nature, should see that we have been model inmates and allow us some outdoor activity before this pressure cooker of a prison explodes. If not, before long I will be having imaginary drinks served by a dead bartender named Lloyd.

Booyah! - Its Official

A Guide to Recombinant Protein Expression

What do you say when someone asks you what you do for a living? Some people have no problem explaining their job. But what do you do when the particulars of your daily tasks are beyond the average knowledge of most people? I am one of those people with a complex occupation and I have it boiled down to a simple response to the question: drug discovery research.

Going any further than that evokes blank stares from my audience. To rectify this, I thought it might be interesting for some people to learn exactly what drug discovery research entails.

Before I elaborate, its important to give a brief lesson on the workings of the human body. Everyone has heard of DNA and that it constitutes the building blocks of all life. But do you know how DNA works? Why is it the foundation of life? Put simply, DNA is a written set of instructions which are used to create the building blocks of your body, namely proteins. The structure of DNA is comprised of extremely long strands, along which 4 different compounds are integrated, called Guanine, Adenine, Thymine, and Cytosine. Genetic code is written with these four compounds, typically written as A, G, T, or C. The code could be written in any order and repeat in any fashion. For example: AAGGTCTTCAAAAGCGTGCGGC. The human genome is made of 3 billion of these letters.

So what happens next? The process known as translation. I will not get into specifics here but essentially, 3 letters of genetic material (for example: CAG, TGA, etc) represent the code for a specific amino acid. During translation, the code is read, amino acids are gathered according to that code, and then those amino acids are put together to make specific proteins. There are 20 different amino acids in the body. Just like the genetic code, these amino acids can be put together in any order and repeat in just about any fashion. This allows for the formation of thousands of unique proteins. Proteins constitute tiny machines that perform hundreds of different jobs inside every cell of your body.

My work is concerned with a specific kind of these proteins called receptors. On the surface of every cell in your body are thousands of various receptors. They act like a lock on a door and unlocking them can switch on various actions. The keys for these receptors are drugs/compounds/chemicals. For example, heroin fits into, or binds, to a specific receptor on brain cells. This binding leads to a excessive release of dopamine, and dopamine is known as an agent heavily involved in human pleasure. Any drug you take, be it aspirin or Prozac, is interacting with a receptor somewhere to cause an effect in your body. This is how drugs work.

In order to discover new drugs, pharmaceutical companies must conduct screens. Huge compound libraries consisting of tens of thousands of individual chemicals are tested, or screened, to see if one of them may be the next Viagra. To put it another way, its like throwing a ball of mud at the wall and hoping one tiny grain of dirt sticks. I normally do not perform the screening. I help make the experiment (or assay) which will be used to screen the drugs.

Drug companies need something to screen the compounds against. In other words, they basically throw all those compounds (ball of mud) against a specific receptor (wall) and look for a specific reaction (speck of dirt). For example, lets say we want a drug that will release lots of dopamine without the addictive effects of heroin. We know that the receptor that binds to heroin is called the Opioid receptor. The opioid receptor is used in an assay which will show high levels of dopamine release if the right compound binds to it. By tracking which compounds give positive results, we can look more closely at those compounds for further testing. Its the beginning of a process to root out a few handfuls of drugs which may or may not work in the long run.

 My job is to take DNA which codes for that specific receptor, replicate vast quantities of it, force various cells to incorporate that DNA into their genome, and then devise an assay which will report the desired effect when that receptor is switched on. Those cells will begin to express that receptor on their surface. They can then be used in the assay with the compound libraries. The receptor of choice is always changing. If the company wants to look at schizophrenia, they might choose one of the many receptors involved in the formation of that disease. Or maybe cancer pain...the list could go on forever.

The complexity of the human body is mind-boggling. As a result, the aspects of my job may change on a daily basis. This keeps what is left of my mind active and for that I am grateful. Having a diverse and dynamic career which holds your interest year after year is an important aspect of living life. This is some sage advice of which all should take heed.